The most controversial scribings since the Satanic Verses sees the return of my Premier League predictions for the season. Heavily criticised this time last year for predicting Manchester United would win the title with a little help from Javier Hernandez, my crystal ball still seems to be in fine working order...
The bottom half of the table is certainly much tougher to predict than the top half with 8 or 9 clubs what I would describe as relegation candidates.
20th Swansea
A swift return from whence they came for the Swans but not without some entertainment en route. Brendan Rogers will win many friends but not enough points.
19th Queens Park Rangers
A lack of summer investment and continued uncertainty surrounding Neil Warnock will mean it is going to be a long, and tough, season ahead for last season's Championship winners.
18th Blackburn Rovers
Rondaldinho and Kaka have yet to appear at Ewood Park, and even if they do show up they won't be able to prevent Rovers' exit from the Premier League as the Venky's will end up looking like turkeys for employing Steve Kean, who might well be the first managerial casualty of the new season. Come back Big Sam, all is forgiven?
17th Norwich City
Tempting to add the Canaries to a triumvirite of promoted teams returning to the Championship but I believe in the star quality of the manager. He has resisted the temptation to bring in players with Premier League experience and gone with the policy that has seen him gain promotion in two consecutive seasons - acquiring young, hungry players.
16th Newcastle United
A club that continues to be undermined by off the field troubles will just avoid the drop, mainly due to the astute acquisition of Demba Ba from West Ham United. He should be able to provide the goals to stave of the threat of relegation but whether he will keep his manager in a job is another question, though the strange decision to award a five year contract may mean Alan Pardew remains.
15th Wigan Athletic
Two reasons for thinking Wigan will avoid the troubles of last season: Hugo Rodallega and Roberto Martinez. The Spanish manager and his side really seemed to turn a corner towards the end of last season and I anticipate that form continuing into this season, though an opening day defeat to relegation rivals Norwich could alter things somewhat. Mind you, they lost 4-0 at home to Blackpool on the opening day last season and still survived.
14th Wolverhampton Wanderers
Roger Johnson's arrival should help cure their main problem last season of conceding soft goals. If they could add better form against the teams around them to their fine displays against the top six, they might just end up in the top half. It is more likely they will be embroiled in a relegation fight once more, but this time they might just secure their top flight status with a week or two to spare.
13th Bolton Wanderers
A couple of weeks ago they would have been top half certainties but an injury to the South Korean Lee Chung-Yong ruling him out for the season, aligned with Stuart Holden's prolonged absence, means Owen Coyle's side might just find it tough going this season. Keeping Gary Cahill should mean they'll be fine, though.
12th Fulham
May find their Europa League exploits prove to be a hinderance but Martin Jol will still continue the tradition of Fulham being a mid-table Premier League side. No signings but no sales either is not such a bad a summer for the Cottagers.
11th West Bromwich Albion
Since taking over at the beginning of the year, the job Roy Hodgson's done has been nothing short of miraculous. Ben Foster will be an improvement on Scott Carson between the sticks and with Shane Long and Peter Odemwingie up front goals will not be hard to come by.
10th Stoke City
The Potters continue to impress with their activity in the transfer market, with mooted moves for Peter Crouch and Wilson Palacios a sign of their intentions. If they can keep Jonathan Woodgate fit, and their wingers Jermaine Pennant and Matthew Etherington, they might just pick up a trophy.
9th Aston Villa
Severely under-performed last season with Gerard Houllier at the helm when they were relegation contenders for long periods, the Villains should be pushing for a European spot this season with the talent at their disposal. Ashley Young, Stewart Downing and Brad Friedel will be missed but Charles N'Zogbia and Shay Given aren't bad replacements. New boss Alex McLeish desperately needs to get off to a good start, though, to dispell the doubters who will no doubt be on his back at the first available opportunity.
8th Sunderland
No less than ten arrivals this summer should mean an improvement on last season's tenths place, despite the loss of Jordan Henderson. Lee Dixon has tipped them as his dark horses for the season. Will also be on the hunt for a trophy to rub salt into the wounds of their bitter rivals Newcastle.
7th Everton
Coleman, Cahill, Jagielka, Fellaini, Arteta, Rodwell, Distin, Phil Neville, Baines. These are players that would get into most Premier League teams. Sadly it all goes wrong once you get to the top end of the pitch - Beckford, Yakubu, Anichebe would struggle to get into Championship teams. Louis Saha is the exception but he is rarely fit. Last year's top score was midfielder Tim Cahill with nine goals. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out where they need to improve.
6th Tottenham Hotspur
If Luka Modric stays Spurs might just be pushing for a Champions League spot come next May but you suspect a striker will need to be added to the ranks for that to happen. However, given Harry's penchant for whealing and dealing you wouldn't rule out a deadline day capture in this area.
5th Liverpool
Many are predicting a return to the top four for Liverpool but it might just take a time for the new guys to settle in. In addition, the continued absence of Steven Gerrard and the decline of Jamie Carragher look set to undermine the brilliance of Luis Suarez.
4th Arsenal
Despite the doom mongers saying this is the end for Arsene Wenger and his team I still expect a top four finish, as well as a good run in the Champions League this season. A midfielder and a centre half are still required but there are still three weeks left of the transfer window. They need to keep Gibbs, Vermaalen and Van Persie fit but if they do things might be even better than I'm predicting and that elusive wait for a trophy just might come to an end.
3rd Chelsea
Really difficult one to call. They could be as high as first, or as low as fifth. So I went for in the middle. They might just pip Man City for second if they can secure Luka Modric's signature. A Champions League Final appearance cannot be ruled out either but they need an answer to the Fernando Torres conundrum and they need it fast.
2nd Manchester City
Despite an underwhelming performance in last weekend's Community Shield they should finish in the top two and make the last eight of the Champions League. Aguero will turn out to be one of the League's star performers but it might take him a few weeks to find his feet. By which time Manchester United might just be beyond reach.
1st Manchester United
Phil Jones and Ashley Young will no doubt improve an already impressive squad but doubts remain around the new goalkeeper, David De Gea, and a failure to replace Paul Scholes. A 20th title still looks likely, though, as their rivals have shown few signs they are capable of bridging the gap. Further disappointment in the Champions League is likely where they can expect a semi-final appearance at best.
The bottom half of the table is certainly much tougher to predict than the top half with 8 or 9 clubs what I would describe as relegation candidates.
20th Swansea
A swift return from whence they came for the Swans but not without some entertainment en route. Brendan Rogers will win many friends but not enough points.
19th Queens Park Rangers
A lack of summer investment and continued uncertainty surrounding Neil Warnock will mean it is going to be a long, and tough, season ahead for last season's Championship winners.
18th Blackburn Rovers
Rondaldinho and Kaka have yet to appear at Ewood Park, and even if they do show up they won't be able to prevent Rovers' exit from the Premier League as the Venky's will end up looking like turkeys for employing Steve Kean, who might well be the first managerial casualty of the new season. Come back Big Sam, all is forgiven?
17th Norwich City
Tempting to add the Canaries to a triumvirite of promoted teams returning to the Championship but I believe in the star quality of the manager. He has resisted the temptation to bring in players with Premier League experience and gone with the policy that has seen him gain promotion in two consecutive seasons - acquiring young, hungry players.
16th Newcastle United
A club that continues to be undermined by off the field troubles will just avoid the drop, mainly due to the astute acquisition of Demba Ba from West Ham United. He should be able to provide the goals to stave of the threat of relegation but whether he will keep his manager in a job is another question, though the strange decision to award a five year contract may mean Alan Pardew remains.
15th Wigan Athletic
Two reasons for thinking Wigan will avoid the troubles of last season: Hugo Rodallega and Roberto Martinez. The Spanish manager and his side really seemed to turn a corner towards the end of last season and I anticipate that form continuing into this season, though an opening day defeat to relegation rivals Norwich could alter things somewhat. Mind you, they lost 4-0 at home to Blackpool on the opening day last season and still survived.
14th Wolverhampton Wanderers
Roger Johnson's arrival should help cure their main problem last season of conceding soft goals. If they could add better form against the teams around them to their fine displays against the top six, they might just end up in the top half. It is more likely they will be embroiled in a relegation fight once more, but this time they might just secure their top flight status with a week or two to spare.
13th Bolton Wanderers
A couple of weeks ago they would have been top half certainties but an injury to the South Korean Lee Chung-Yong ruling him out for the season, aligned with Stuart Holden's prolonged absence, means Owen Coyle's side might just find it tough going this season. Keeping Gary Cahill should mean they'll be fine, though.
12th Fulham
May find their Europa League exploits prove to be a hinderance but Martin Jol will still continue the tradition of Fulham being a mid-table Premier League side. No signings but no sales either is not such a bad a summer for the Cottagers.
11th West Bromwich Albion
Since taking over at the beginning of the year, the job Roy Hodgson's done has been nothing short of miraculous. Ben Foster will be an improvement on Scott Carson between the sticks and with Shane Long and Peter Odemwingie up front goals will not be hard to come by.
10th Stoke City
The Potters continue to impress with their activity in the transfer market, with mooted moves for Peter Crouch and Wilson Palacios a sign of their intentions. If they can keep Jonathan Woodgate fit, and their wingers Jermaine Pennant and Matthew Etherington, they might just pick up a trophy.
9th Aston Villa
Severely under-performed last season with Gerard Houllier at the helm when they were relegation contenders for long periods, the Villains should be pushing for a European spot this season with the talent at their disposal. Ashley Young, Stewart Downing and Brad Friedel will be missed but Charles N'Zogbia and Shay Given aren't bad replacements. New boss Alex McLeish desperately needs to get off to a good start, though, to dispell the doubters who will no doubt be on his back at the first available opportunity.
8th Sunderland
No less than ten arrivals this summer should mean an improvement on last season's tenths place, despite the loss of Jordan Henderson. Lee Dixon has tipped them as his dark horses for the season. Will also be on the hunt for a trophy to rub salt into the wounds of their bitter rivals Newcastle.
7th Everton
Coleman, Cahill, Jagielka, Fellaini, Arteta, Rodwell, Distin, Phil Neville, Baines. These are players that would get into most Premier League teams. Sadly it all goes wrong once you get to the top end of the pitch - Beckford, Yakubu, Anichebe would struggle to get into Championship teams. Louis Saha is the exception but he is rarely fit. Last year's top score was midfielder Tim Cahill with nine goals. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out where they need to improve.
6th Tottenham Hotspur
If Luka Modric stays Spurs might just be pushing for a Champions League spot come next May but you suspect a striker will need to be added to the ranks for that to happen. However, given Harry's penchant for whealing and dealing you wouldn't rule out a deadline day capture in this area.
5th Liverpool
Many are predicting a return to the top four for Liverpool but it might just take a time for the new guys to settle in. In addition, the continued absence of Steven Gerrard and the decline of Jamie Carragher look set to undermine the brilliance of Luis Suarez.
4th Arsenal
Despite the doom mongers saying this is the end for Arsene Wenger and his team I still expect a top four finish, as well as a good run in the Champions League this season. A midfielder and a centre half are still required but there are still three weeks left of the transfer window. They need to keep Gibbs, Vermaalen and Van Persie fit but if they do things might be even better than I'm predicting and that elusive wait for a trophy just might come to an end.
3rd Chelsea
Really difficult one to call. They could be as high as first, or as low as fifth. So I went for in the middle. They might just pip Man City for second if they can secure Luka Modric's signature. A Champions League Final appearance cannot be ruled out either but they need an answer to the Fernando Torres conundrum and they need it fast.
2nd Manchester City
Despite an underwhelming performance in last weekend's Community Shield they should finish in the top two and make the last eight of the Champions League. Aguero will turn out to be one of the League's star performers but it might take him a few weeks to find his feet. By which time Manchester United might just be beyond reach.
1st Manchester United
Phil Jones and Ashley Young will no doubt improve an already impressive squad but doubts remain around the new goalkeeper, David De Gea, and a failure to replace Paul Scholes. A 20th title still looks likely, though, as their rivals have shown few signs they are capable of bridging the gap. Further disappointment in the Champions League is likely where they can expect a semi-final appearance at best.
