A score to settle

Another momentous occasion in the sporting calender is upon us this weekend. With speed high on the agenda, not to mention verve, tenacity and ballsy manoeuvres. Yes, that's right. It's the boat race.

Although, in a global sense, perhaps our eyes should be averted to the goings on down under where the Formula One season commences.

Well maybe they would have been were it not for a sequence of events that makes Formula One even less credulous that it already was.

I personally used to love the sport. Every other Sunday was filled with great anticipation and excitement. OK so overtaking became a little thin on the ground as the 90s progressed and as the 21st century began a certain Teutonic feel to those weekends tended to dominate but still I was enthralled. That enthralment only began to diminish as the rule-makers began to... well... make more rules. Or, more specifically, meddle with the previous ones.

With recent events in mind, whereby the FIA have decided to change the rules giving the World drivers title to the individual with the most race wins as opposed to the person who has accrued the most points, seemed to make a modicum of sense. Rewarding ambitious drivers- those who actually won grands prix instead of just sitting in second or third position and picking up points each race. This rule change might have been accepted by most had it not been for the bizarre set of circumstances surrounding it.

Firstly, to announce this on the eve of the season is not just wrong, it's downright scandalous. Ludicrous. Ridiculous. Stupid. No adjective alone can really do this any justice.

Secondly, what was wrong with the old scoring system that kept many of us, the viewing public, happy for many years. 10-6-4-3-2-1 worked very well.

It was only when a Ferrari/Schumacher combination began to dominate that the governing body decided do mix things up a little. Making the sport a bit more random so the viewer could see a greater spectacle. What it really did, however, was cheat their audience. For example, you had a situation going into the final race of the 2003 season where Kimi Raikkonen had won just one grand prix all season compared to Schumacher's six victories and yet the Finn still had a shot at the world title.

To add to the randomness the FIA also changed the format of qualifying into something very confusing indeed. To juggle up the grid a little which it occasionally did but it's not really fair is it? It's not really sport, either, for that matter.

This kind of rule change was akin to the Golfing fraternity saying, "OK Tiger. We recognise you're a bit good but we want to have a greater variant of winners so what we're going to do is shorten the fairways on all the world's golf courses and maybe make you use cricket bats instead of golf clubs. Just to 'juggle it up' a bit, you understand."

On top of all these shenanigans have been the protestations of 'that's not fair' from various teams. What is and is not fair should have been made clearer sooner and stamped out. The word on Team Brawn's rear diffuser should have been qualified at the immediate point of confusion several weeks ago and it is only an unsettling tactic from rival teams to leave it until the week leading up to the season's start. Now that's not fair.

Nevertheless, I will be tuning in with bleary eyes in the early hours of Sunday morning in the hope that this season it will return to the sport I once loved. Though the chances of that happening are about as likely as Max Mosely getting caught with his trousers down and surrounded by fiver hookers dressed as Nazis.

When sports stars cry

Following Roger Federer’s tears in this year’s Australian Open we delve into the sporting archives to discover 10 sportsmen and women who’ve also been unable to control the waterworks.

10. Diego Maradona 1990

After winning the 1986 world cup single handed (pun intended) for a team that without him had less talent than Barnet’s reserves, Maradona was hell bent on doing the same trick at the following world cup in Italy. Sadly, the little cheat, sorry, I meant diminutive genius fell short of his dream after losing to West Germany in a final that will be remembered for instigating the back pass rule after Argentina tried to reverse their way into becoming world champions. Yes, a total of 3,457 back passes were recorded by the South Americans but these figures vary due to the fact that no man has yet been found who didn't fall asleep at some stage during the final. Anyway, I digress, having lost to an Andreas Brehme penalty Senor Maradona wept uncontrollably as the trophy was presented to West Germany.

9. Carsten Jancker 1999

Mario Basler salutes the travelling Bayern Munich fans, Lothar Matthaus is grinning from ear to ear and the Champions' League trophy has the Bayern Munich colours attached to it (conveniently they are similar to their opponents') but someone has forgot to tell the soon to be knighted Alex Ferguson's men. Two goals in stoppage time and Munich hearts are broken. Not only that, comically named Carsten 'rhymes with' Jancker cannot keep his emotions in any longer as Manchester United complete an incredible treble. Meanwhile, Jancker's only treble that night was of miss-hit shots.

8. William Gallas 2008

Ok so he didn't cry but his antics were more befitting of a child screaming and throwing their toys out of a pram than of a grown man who plays professional football for a Premiership side. This drama queen performance was more appropriate for a school playground but instead he chose Saturday the 23rd of February, aged 31 and Birmingham's centre circle to perform his theatrics. I know the French are known for there acting abilities but St Andrew's is not the place to perform in Moulin Rouge.

7. Mika Hakkinen 1999

Michael Schumacher had broken a leg and the only person left to contest Mika Hakkinen was the likable, but talentless, Irishman Eddie Irvine. However, a string of errors by Hakkinen and his McLaren team let Irvine in time and again. These mistakes included one by the flying Finn at the Italian Grand Prix whereby he spun out whilst leading. Hakkinen responded like any true man- he ran into the nearby woods and cried like a baby.

6. John Terry 2008

John Terry, or JT as he is more affectionately known, performed two memorable acts in last year's Champions' League final. Firstly, he missed a crucial penalty. Secondly, he wept onto Avram Grant's shoulder. Apparently, Grant demanded a new suit afterwards and, as a result of his cheek, was duly sacked. Nothing to do with the trophy-less season after all.

5. Oliver McCall 1995

When Oliver McCall became World Champion he was then deemed fit enough to fight Frank Bruno. What made McCall break down in tears that night is still not known to this day. However, it is believed that it was the thought of having to appear alongside our Frank in a pantomime performance that triggered the tears. "Oh no it wasn’t."

4. Michael Schumacher 2000

As Michael Schumacher approached his holy grail of delivering Ferrari's first world driver's championship since before the dinosaurs it all got too much for him and water began seeping from his eyes quicker than the oil from a competitor's engine after he won the Italian grand prix. Schumacher went on to win 7 world titles and become the most successful formula one driver of all time but he will always be remembered for his emotional breakdown in front of millions of viewers. Still, if you're going to cry, best to do it in Italy.

3. Jana Novotna 1993

From being in a certain to win position, Jana Novotna collapsed in a manner that would have made Kevin Keegan proud. After her defeat to Steffi Graf in the Wimbledon final she cried for longer than anyone can remember and the consoling arm of the Duchess of Kent could not do anything to halt her crying. Her tears were in such abundance that the famous Wimbledon covers had to be brought across the grass to keep it dry for the following day's men's final.

2. Alex Higgins 1982

Alex "hurricane" Higgins became Alex "torrential rain" Higgins as his tears ran down his cheeks at the Crucible theatre, Sheffield. These were tears of joy, though, from the Belfast born snooker legend. These tears worsened as he began to realised that closing time of the local bars had elapsed in the midst of the trophy ceremony.

1. Gazza 1990

Undoubtedly the everlasting image of Italia '90 was of Gazza crying after England's semi-final defeat to West Germany on penalties. It is a well known fact that the Germans are masters of two things, female under-arm hair and penalties. The latter has aided the Germans to many footballing victories, the former has not.

Taking the biscuit

You’re having a laugh - as professional footballers go, Carlo Cudicini has pushed the boundaries more than most as a cruise and collector.

When people talk of greed, laziness and a lack of ambition, many names and ideas are suggested but here is one for you. Would you please give a warm welcome to... Carlo Cudicini.

Let’s take a look shall we.

After initially being brought in on loan, by the then Chelsea coach Gianluca Vialli, in 1999 the deal was made permanent in the year 2000 for a mere £160,000 and
he soon made the No.1 goalkeeping jersey his own with a string of imperious displays.

Cudicini gained a reputation for being one of the Premier League’s finest shot stoppers and was much admired throughout Europe. Several of Europe’s top clubs were linked with him but Chelsea stood firm and Cudicini appreciated the feeling of being wanted.

Son of a former AC Milan goalkeeper he finally appeared to be stepping out of his father’s shadow after a stop start career seemed to be heading nowhere back in his homeland.

However, in the summer of 2004, after the appointment of Jose Mourinho, Petr Cech was bought for £7 million and soon assumed first-choice goalkeeper status. Cudicini’s Chelsea career appeared doomed. It was especially disappointing after performing so well for the club he had never let down.

He was at a crossroads- either become the Premierships best reserve and pick up the occasional medal for which he had contributed little or seek pastures new and a new challenge, perhaps a few international caps too. Unfortunately, he chose the former.

The Italian has to be the epitome of lacking ambition. Possibly you could excuse the first year as an under study and to try to challenge Cech, after all he appeared to have the ability. However, it soon became clear that Cech was in an impregnable position.

Ultimately, Cudicini decided he would rather warm a bench than play football.

His decision to play second fiddle is a massive sign of insecurity. He clearly never believed in his talents enough to prosper elsewhere and that would explain his more inconsistent performances on the odd occasion he was called upon by Chelsea.

Who knows, maybe Mourinho sensed this lack of confidence. One of the special one’s first big decisions he had to make was to drop Cudicini. He seemed in little doubt and never looked back as Cech became arguably the world’s best goalkeeper (although that belief has deteriorated since Mourinho’s departure).

After five years of being little more than a Carling Cup player Cudicini has finally moved on but at 36 he has just a few years left in the game and what was a burgeoning career has petered out into something that Winston Bogarde would have been proud of.

Tears for fears

It was the summer of 1999 and after narrowly missing out on the world titles of 1997 and 98 all seemed set for Michael Schumacher to finally achieve his goal of delivering Ferrari its first Driver's World Championship in two decades. However, fate intervened and the German broke his leg at the British Grand Prix. After a remarkable set of circumstances, including a host of errors from chief rivals McLaren, Schumacher's Ferrari team-mate Eddie Irvine was suddenly propelled into the position of favourite for that year's title as the formula one circus arrived at the final race. After huge amounts of effort and tens of millions of dollars directed towards Schumacher, suddenly the bridesmaid appeared the more likely to be the one to deliver, much to Schuey's embarrassment.

Now fast forward ten years and think tennis. Think Rafael Nadal lifting last week's Australian Open title followed by Roger Federer's tears. After years of hard work and toil, narrowly missing out on the grand slam by winning all four majors, Federer can now see someone else on the horizon set to eclipse him.

In recent years, talk of Federer achieving his aim would gather momentum as the season progressed, particularly as he frequently got off to the perfect start by safely securing the opening slam in Melbourne. Then as spring would turn into summer, the French Open would arrive and so would the dark clouds, if only temporarily, over the man from Basel's season. A routine path to the final would ensue but the combination of clay and Nadal would prove to be too much. Thus, a blight on Federer's season and another year would pass by, despite continued dominance at Wimbledon and the US Open. The season finishing with three out of the four slams in the trophy cabinet. Winning three grand slams in one year occurred to Federer on three occasions (2004, 06 and 07). Last year, however, he won just one- the US Open last September. Nevertheless, this year began with some predicting a return to form and a possible clean sweep.

Nadal's victory last Sunday put paid to that notion and, as a result, it is the Spaniard who now appears most likely to achieve that clean sweep. Having been successful at the previous four French Opens he will be odds on to claim a fifth at Roland Garros this year. Wimbledon follows on quite quickly from Paris and he is the reigning champion at SW19 so will see no reason why he cannot secure a second title. That would be three out of three and the final piece of the jigsaw would arrive in the autumn in New York. This will be the hardest of the slams to win. He has never even reached the final before but after some convincing displays on the hard courts of Melbourne he will feel more confident than ever at Flushing Meadow. There will be many variables to negotiate en route for the Spaniard but perhaps it was the realisation of a dream slipping away and into someone else's hands that was the cause of Federer's tears.

Irvine blew it back in 1999 through a combination of incompetence and an inability to deal with the pressure suddenly thrust upon him, two accusations that could never be thrown the way of Nadal.

Recipe for disaster

So the board of Norwich City approached Nigel Worthington to see if he wanted his job back.

Worthington is extremely fond of Norfolk and still spends a large amount of his time there when he is not on Northern Ireland duty.

He has done a steady, if not spectacular, job as coach of Northern Ireland but his work as the Canaries' boss was under appreciated at the time and it is probably only now that the board and fans are beginning to understand just how good he was. He was the guy who steadily improved the team whilst in the Championship, culminating in promotion as champions of the division in 2004.

Worthington's eye for a player was pretty accurate too. His astute work in the transfer market, either for loans or permanent deals, brought Peter Crouch, David Bentley, Dean Ashton, Robert Earnshaw and fans' favourite Darren Huckerby to the club. Oh how Norwich would love to be able to call on the services of just one of those players now.

It started to go wrong on the final day of the 2004/05 season. He had taken City to within a whisker of staying up after a remarkable run of victories, including a memorable 2-0 win at home to Manchester United, but on that final day they crumbled. Embarrassingly defeated 6-0 at Fulham and with it relegation.

The following 18 months saw them spend most of the time between mid table and the play offs but rarely threatening automatic promotion. After a defeat away at Plymouth, when the performance could be best described as 'limp', a letter to the fans was issued in the most appalling fashion, through the local press. Delia Smith and her husband Michael Wynn Jones issued a strongly worded statement that effectively gave Worthington two games to save his job.

Forget that memorable play off final where they missed out on promotion by the narrowest of margins. Forget the dominant season that led to promotion. Forget that memorable season in the top flight. Forget the quality of players he had brought to the club. Forget the fact that, despite a disappointing start to the 2006/07, season they still lied just a few points from the play offs.

These moments had been erased from the short-term memories of the fans and illustrated the short sightedness of the board.

Instead they proceeded with their threat with this statement. They may as well have sacked him there and then as with that statement Worthington's bolt had been well and truly shot. If you were a player after reading that statement you knew you had nothing to play for. No one to play for. You had the excuse already lined up for you. It was all the manager's fault, after all.

What followed was a 4-1 defeat at home to Barnsley and Worthington was out just hours afterwards. The board had even gone back on their promise of two games, he was gone after just one.

In every sense Delia et al let the club down.

They then appointed Peter Grant who later quit after admitting that he could turn things around but did not know if he wanted to. Shocking.

Despite his deficiencies, Glenn Roeder could not be criticised for his lack of trying but this club have been on a downward slope since 27 September 2006 when 'that' statement was released. And so we fast forward to January 2009 and after Glenn Roeder's dismissal the board finally realise the error of their ways, enquiring about the possibility of Nigel Worthington coming back to the club. It must have been tempting for him as he cares for the club dearly and loves the area.

However, he held firm to his commitment to the Northern Irish cause and you would expect nothing less of an honest football man. Well done Nigel.